A Christmas Card to Remember

‘TWAS THE FLOOD BEFORE CHRISTMAS
‘Twas the summer of 2011 and all through the house
The family was stirring, including the mouse
The sandbags were filled by the volunteers with care
In hopes that the flood would not soon be there…
They returned to their home with their life in a box
Only to find they were missing their socks
They did not fret; they did not shed a tear
Instead they were hopeful like that red-nosed reindeer
Their luck soon changed, in the blink of an eye
Now seven months later, we bid that dam* flood goodbye
From our family to yours, exclaiming as loud as we might
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a special thanks on this flood-less night!”

 

‘TIS THE SEASON TO REMEMBER

“Twas the (week) before Christmas, when all through the house. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.”

It’s difficult to believe that it has been a whole six months since the start of the 2011 Flood. Believe it or not, I’m back in our once flooded home creating this post now. Though I’ve managed to escape blogging for the past few months, tonight felt like the best possible night to rekindle that relationship. With the Christmas tree next to me and the artificial Santa nearby let’s begin this story by reflecting on the past…

Let’s set the scene, shall we?

Back in June, I was preparing for my first summer away from home. The plan was to stay in Lincoln while continuing my internship and other college related tasks, though Dam Water Problems had another idea in mind. Not only, did it create a leak in those plans (yes, it is still acceptable to make flood related puns), but it also threw a few life curve balls in my family’s way.

Let’s flash forward a bit…

By the end of the summer we had our doubts about reassembling the life we once lived yet we were still positive that our long, exhausting journey was not a waste. Everything happens for a reason. Or at least we hope, right?

Flashing forward a little bit more…

Over the next few months we cleaned, remodeled, emptied the semi (I actually was no help in this aspect, see note below), unpacked and are now almost back to normal…or at least what I assume is normal.

Present day..

Now, six months after the beginning of the flood we are blessed enough to be spending this holiday season together and are beyond thankful for all of the people who have helped us through our Dam Water Problems journey. Gold stars for every one of you!

And now for that note!

As stated above, one of the most extreme tasks was to unload the semi truck that once held everything from our home. And by everything, I literally mean everything…right down to that obnoxious set of Christmas carolers that, for some reason or another, never get taken down after the holidays. Since I’m in the giving mood, let’s give out even more gold stars for all of the wonderful people that helped with this task; it’s obvious that I didn’t get the ‘opportunity’ to help unload that semi (so unfortunate) but for everyone that did, you are complete Rockstars!

*Disclaimer: Gold stars are NOT redeemable for cash or other prizes, they are more so a euphemism for a ‘pat on the back’ or a ‘job well done’. For gold star related complaints please call 1-800-DAMSTARPROBLEMS

To Grandmothers House We Went!

Over the (flooded) river and through the woods to grandmothers house we go (errr…went). Over the past few month our family has been residing at this lovely home, the only problem is that it recently had a water pipeline break. Yep. Dam Water Problems seem to follow us wherever we go. Nevertheless, due to our ‘luck’ we are no longer allowed to stay with family members.. Friends.. At hotels.. Okay, okay and our neighbors aren’t quite sure that they want us back either… I mean honestly, some people are just overly superstitious a few (minor) water issues and suddenly the whole town rallies against you! The sooner we get moved back to our riverfront home, the better:)

A New Perspective

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Earlier this summer I raved about our new basement swimming pool yet didn’t get the opportunity to promote our backyard watering hole! Though our memories may fade as the waters recede we will still have the new miniature pond as a representation of what once was…until that eventually dries up then I suppose we’ll have to find  some new representation. Though this summer has been an adventure to say the least you can often catch me summing it up as, “…a great experience.” I’m not really one for words nor do I know how to tell our flood story in a creative way when prompted with the question, “How’s everything been going with the flood so far?”. I mean, how would you respond? “Would you say we…evacuated our home in a matter of five days, filled over six thousand sand bags, found a large dog-sized beaver in the backyard, had mold growing all over the basement walls, got tagged by a gang.” (and then follow that up with) “You know, the usual.” Assuming that right about now you’re thinking, Yeah, maybe a great experience is the best way to explain it… Call it what you will but make sure to keep in mind this brand new perspective:)

Homework vs. Home Work

It is strongly apparent that I’ve missed quite a bit of blogging in the past month or so…yet in my defense I haven’t been home to deal with our wonderful Dam Water Problems! However, while spending Labor Day weekend in South Sioux City I had the opportunity to see the aftermath of Mighty Mo…that’s right, the land that used to take two plus hours to mow now looks more like an African safari. Who knew that the best way to get out of a summers worth of lawn mowing was by flooding the yard? Genius! Over the past few weeks my family has also had the opportunity to begin the remodeling process on our once vacated home. With a to-do list the size of the Empire State building we’re still keeping our heads held high! I mean Rome wasn’t built in a day, right? But let’s at least keep our fingers crossed in the hopes that the remodeling process doesn’t in fact take as long as the construction of Rome…

There’s No Place Like Home!

A few days ago we were informed by a friend that a picture of our house could be found on the local newspapers website and sure enough our house made picture number 38 of the “Aerial Photos of the Flood” album. I guess you could say that this is our 15 minutes of fame (if that’s even what you were thinking at all), but believe it or not it was somewhat exciting to see the bird’s eye view of our riverfront…errr…home IN the river. In addition to the rapidly rising waters now surrounding the home we’ve managed to miss out on our summer fun activities that usually take place in the now flooded backyard. For example we typically partake in: boating, shooting off fireworks, sun-bathing, lawn mowing (less exciting than the first), frolicking through the grass, beaver trapping, llama rescuing, deer herding, and skunk running…you know, the usual everyday activities. But before you run to your local real-estate agent in search of a riverfront home just know that it isn’t all fun and games like I’ve listed above…the llama rescuing is a lot harder than it may sound!

Dream Big!

As another note to all of our amazing viewers, thanks again for paying attention to our local blog about the Missouri River flooding! Please help us by sharing this blog with friends, family, and those random individuals that you encounter during your day-to-day routines…you know the one’s we’re talking about: cashiers, bankers, and even the strange hitch-hiker alongside the road (I mean, hey, I’m sure even he could use a good laugh). Also, don’t forget to post comments and feedback at the bottom of the posts’ letting us know what you think; we may be homeless from the flood but we sure do enjoy getting updates from our viewers!! Our goal is to raise awareness of the flooding while still portraying it in a light-hearted way. Please help us make Dam Water Problems a success!!

The Three F’s

Family, Friends, and Flooding…

This post is a toast to a great summer in the making! Just a week or so ago we celebrated a family members wedding at the Marina Inn in South Sioux City…despite enjoying a glamorous night of fine dining and dancing we sadly discovered that, like Cinderella, our carriage turned into a pumpkin at the end of the night. Simply put, we were forced to continue sandbagging directly following the reception. What we have realized is that no matter what we do or where we go the flooding is sure to follow…and we all lived happily ‘flooding’ after:)

The Never-Ending Question

How much wood could a wood chuck, chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Among all other philosophical questions this one by far exceeds the rest and while I’m no expert on wood chucks we actually discovered a beaver in our backyard the other day. Similar creatures? I think yes! Though I’m not keen on the appearance of either animal it seems to me that both enjoy wood to some degree. Our backyard beaver toothpicked a large tree in a matter of hours and while analogies are not my strong point I do have to say that shaving the tree into a toothpick is exactly what that creature did….timber! One day later, we had one less tree and two days later we had one less beaver…

Isn’t That a B*tch? A Post About Vandalism…

While wracking my brain attempting to find a good way to begin this post I remembered this phrase,

   “That which does not kill me makes me stronger.” -Friedrich Nietzsche

Since this blog is centered on satire I’ll do my best to deliver this message with some form of humor or at the very least sarcasm… After spending the weekend at our riverfront home we left Sunday afternoon feeling a little enthusiastic about our progress in comparison to the current river level. Upon arriving the next morning for our usual morning check-up on the home we were informed that the other houses down our street had been broken into, suffice it to say ours was not spared. While I won’t be posting pictures of the freshly spray painted walls (mostly because it would be great PR for the gang that did it) I will instead continue with the intelligence of said individuals. Since the vandals (?) were smart enough to leave their name on the wall it was no mystery as to who was responsible. The best part was the fact that they misspelled the word delinquent, I mean seriously if you’re going to be spray painting big words on a wall consider spell checking or at the very least ask the guy stealing the computer next to you to proofread it so you don’t look like an idiot. Overall, our house was the least harmed on our street due to the lack of, well, anything left in it. I could only imagine the vandals struggling to climb over our large berm and arriving inside the house only to be disappointed by what they saw, or technically, what they didn’t see…I suppose our house was quite the let-down. We’re sorry to disappoint you guys but your unintelligent acts will in fact get you nowhere, that’s right you’re on a one way train to nothing and upon arrival will meet up with no one. In all seriousness, this flood process has been a delightful experience…I mean honestly who else has been fortunate enough to have a local artist decorate their living room wall with grammatically incorrect art?